Those Silly Love Songs

Ever felt like some love songs were specifically written for you, or about you? It's creepy. I feel like, how could Whitney or Madonna or Celine or whoever singer that sang it knew how I was feeling? I didn't tell them anything. But they took the words right out of my mouth, or the feelings from the very depths of my soul. I keep certain songs on my playlist now. I guess, sometimes, though it hurts to be reminded of some feelings, that it comforts me to know that this is the way of life. I am not alone in my fate. Others have experienced it before me, and have put it to song, comforting those who, like myself, are experiencing it at present, and sends a warning to those who will experienced it in the future. Those silly love songs, as I have liked to sing in my youth, without knowing and understanding their depths, have become a sort of anthem that accompany me in my misery.

Mission 1: ACCOMPLISHED!!!

Over a month has passed since we took the Physician Licensure Exams, and 3 weeks (Aug. 17, 2011, 5:55PM) since we got the news that indeed, we made it! And that 3 weeks hence, all euphoria had drained me of much energy, I quite feel lost and finding myself at life's crossroads once again. For the past weeks, I have been dragging myself to my alma mater, and letting my presence be known, to be congratulated repeatedly, and also attending thanksgiving parties left and right. All throughout this experience, I was also being a couch potato at home, and just enjoy doing nothing for the first time in many years of hard-core studying. I actually quite missed it. I'm still reading. I just finished rereading one of my favorite books, the inheritance series, and now just started a new series: a song of fire and ice. But then I look over to some of my thicker books, medical ones and feel an itch to study again. Maybe in time, I will again. But for now, I restrained myself. It's too soon, maybe next month or when I start working again. For now, I will let my soul breathe for just a few more days.

Mabuhay!

"Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika ay higit pa sa malansang isda". --Dr. Jose P. Rizal

Kayo ay nagbabasa sa aking kauna-unahang artikulo na hango lahat sa wikang Filipino, ang ating pambansang wika. Kulang isang buwan na nang kami ay nanirahan dito sa Maynila ngunit akalain mo, hindi pa rin umaasenso ang aming pananagalog. Paano nga nama't lagi pa rin kaming nagbibisaya kapag kami ay nagkakasama sa aming kinauukulan ngayon? Kami pa ring mga Bisaya ang palaging nagkakasama kaya't wala kaming pangangailangang magtagalog pwera na lang kung sasakay kami ng pampublikong transportasyon, o bibili sa mga tindahan. Minsan nga, lalo na c Ai, ay nalilimutang magtagalog kapag iba ang kausap niya. Buti na lang, karamihan sa mga nakakasalamuha namin ay bisaya rin kaya nagkakaintindihan pa rin. Hindi naman sa hindi ko mahal ang ating pambansang wika dahil hindi ako masyadong marunong magsalita nito. Pero bakit nga ba Tagalog ang ating naging pambansang wika kung mas malaking porsyento naman sa ating populasyon ang nagsasalita ng Bisaya? Sa totoo lang, sa Luzon lang ang karamihang nagtatagalog habang sa Visayas at Mindanao ay nagbibisaya. Nakakainis isipin na mababa ang tingin ng mga Tagalog sa mga Bisaya dahil matigas silang managalog, pero ang mga Tagalog ba marunong magbisaya? At kung magsasalita naman ng ingles, aba, mas magaling yata mag ingles ang mga Bisaya kaysa mga Tagalog. O sya, di na ako magrereklamo't nasa batas na na Tagalog ang pambansang wika at hindi Bisaya. Heto na lang ang isa sa mga bloopers namin sa pakikipagtalastasan sa wikang Filipino:

Ai: "Paulo, patikim ng iyong butika"

Pao: "You mean "bituka"?" (bumili kasi c Pao ng bituka, hindi po ng sarili niyang bituka ang ibig sabihin ni Ai)

Is this it?

I realized something's amiss when I can hardly look him in the eye without significant effort anymore. Or that there seems to be a thousand butterflies waking up and simultaneously fluttering their wings in the pit of my stomach every time I do so, much more so when we touch. I would have scoffed at this very description had I heard it a few months before. But the past few weeks had been a crazy roller coaster ride, one I did not intend to ride on, but definitely did not regret riding on to. I was confident enough that I had put my straps well, for I didn't expect to fall. But now, I'm irrevocably falling... if I hadn't fall already. I know how cliche it sounds, but it's really true for me what they say that the one you'll love will always be the exception. Not that I agree. Why can't it be the perfect guy I've been crushing on for the past few years? But no, it has to be that guy, who friends will have mixed feelings whether he's good for you or not. If truth be told, I think that deep down, they question the choice of person...in other words--plain and simple words, he's not right for me. I'm actually aware of it and in my mind, I know it to be true. However, it seems that my heart has betrayed my mind, and my traitorous body has become mindless in following my heart, reacting in ways before even my mind can comprehend as though a reflex.

Before I go schizo and start debating with myself, I'd rather not try to justify my actions, or my thoughts, and just accept that things happen for a reason, and that I really feel the way that I do. I don't know what the future brings, and being the forever optimist that I am, I hope that things turn out well. Whether I'm heading for a disaster, or a happily-ever-after, only God knows. I will try to be ready.

Good times!

Ten years and counting....;)