So, 2010 did not start well for me. maybe I was just tired because I was on duty on new year's eve, and had 2 GSW cases in the first few hours of the year, with 1 DOA. Guess I could say I started the new year with a bang! Literally. And on new year's day when we supposedly had a family gathering, or reunion of sorts, I slept through the whole thing. And 2 days into the new year, i don't feel any ounce of excitement, and even missed 4 hours of duty because I wasn't feeling up to it. Excuses, excuses.
I met up with my friends and watched 2 movies, and talked forever, until we had to go home because some of us are on 24H duty the next day. I always had lots of fun with my girlfriends, even with a simple get-together and talking over food.
And that's when it hit me, how I truly feel about the new year. One of my friends was particularly optimistic about the whole new-year-new-opportunities thing. But I didn't really caught up with her optimism. It's like the events that happened to me as the clock struck 12, and on the subsequent 24 hours that followed affected my whole outlook for the coming 364 days.
Being a relatively cheerful and optimistic person, this isn't how I usually greet the new year. And it bummed me to feel this way. I want to be excited and optimistic about the new year too. I'll be graduating, then start my PGI year. But try as I may, I don't really feel like it. It's like there's a hole inside my chest--a void (ok, this is getting a bit melodramatic, but I would like to emphasize that I'm not in a "new-moon-Bella" state whatsoever).
I don't know, maybe I just feel tired and longing for vacation to come where I can soak in the sun and sand all day. That would be 3 months from now. (counting...)
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