Is this it?

I realized something's amiss when I can hardly look him in the eye without significant effort anymore. Or that there seems to be a thousand butterflies waking up and simultaneously fluttering their wings in the pit of my stomach every time I do so, much more so when we touch. I would have scoffed at this very description had I heard it a few months before. But the past few weeks had been a crazy roller coaster ride, one I did not intend to ride on, but definitely did not regret riding on to. I was confident enough that I had put my straps well, for I didn't expect to fall. But now, I'm irrevocably falling... if I hadn't fall already. I know how cliche it sounds, but it's really true for me what they say that the one you'll love will always be the exception. Not that I agree. Why can't it be the perfect guy I've been crushing on for the past few years? But no, it has to be that guy, who friends will have mixed feelings whether he's good for you or not. If truth be told, I think that deep down, they question the choice of person...in other words--plain and simple words, he's not right for me. I'm actually aware of it and in my mind, I know it to be true. However, it seems that my heart has betrayed my mind, and my traitorous body has become mindless in following my heart, reacting in ways before even my mind can comprehend as though a reflex.

Before I go schizo and start debating with myself, I'd rather not try to justify my actions, or my thoughts, and just accept that things happen for a reason, and that I really feel the way that I do. I don't know what the future brings, and being the forever optimist that I am, I hope that things turn out well. Whether I'm heading for a disaster, or a happily-ever-after, only God knows. I will try to be ready.