Good times!

Ten years and counting....;)

High School Life

I've just attended our high school batch reunion (9th year) and realized, not much has changed for me since then, except for the title before my name. It was not well attended, just around 40 persons (not even 1 section) and I blame this on the weather. Some who promised to come did not make it owing to the heavy downpour just a few minutes before showtime. But still, I had such a blast, I feel so blest to have such classmates, to have found enduring friendships among a variety of personalities.

I know I have been missing on a lot of things, but this is not to say I did not enjoy the kind of life that I have chosen. With the 10-year reunion fast approaching, already in January, realizations began hitting me left, right and center. I've only begun my career (not even, since I have yet to pass the boards in August), while others have already established theirs; I haven't even had a serious relationship up to now, though my current status deserves a Facebook's "it's complicated" status, the most that I have other than "single", while others already have children (yes, more than 1); others have long flown away from their nests and lived independently, while I'm still dependent on my parents' allowance.

I don't mean to compare, or even compete, for I know there are also others way behind me. But still, time is running out. They say it's not the years in your life, but the life in your years. I've always thought that despite not yet achieving those aforementioned things, I've lived enough life in my years. But with recent events, I realized, it wasn't nearly as lively as I originally thought. Now, I thank God I did the things that I did. I have no regrets, though things may seem so messed up. I always believe everything happens for a reason. And behind the darkest cloud is a silver lining...or something like that..haha!

Time Flies

And I thought the last time I blogged was just a few months ago...well, that few months is actually almost a year now. Times have been busy...but in between, there was actually some space, though not much to talk about. And when there was so much to talk about, the time to blog seems elusive, and only goes as far as the time I drive from the hospital to the house, after which I would then forget, that I was actually planning to blog it.

Anyhow, as 2 more days remain before we cross over to another year, I hope to recount the many things, many "firsts", that has come my way since I last blogged. I would have liked to share those that happened in the first to third quarters of this year but the story already seems stale, and the minute details have since escaped my memory. But then again, the last quarter, in fact, the last month, have been filled with some of the most memorable experiences I had, it feels like I've only begun living my life.

AnecDocs

During one of our rotations in the psychiatric ward, my classmate asked one patient why he was admitted. But he just sang. It would have appeared that he deliberately ignored her...it's just that the lyrics go "...coz I'm half crazy..." Well, i couldn't have said it better myself!

E.R.

The 9th is slowly moving into the 10th, ticking away by the seconds. This room could not have been any more peaceful or empty, giving me no excuse to read this book in front of me.

Yet my mind wanders to a place I've never been, making conversations with someone I wish I was with, basking in the glorious feelings I'm supposed to be feeling. . .

But alas, I spoke to soon. Here comes trudging along the ramp, a couple with with a little boy in their arms. And just as they laid the little boy in the first bed, another group arrived, a father carrying his young son having breathing difficulty.

This room, that had been so empty a few moments ago, is quickly becoming crowded once more.

POP!

There goes my happy moment.

And there goes the peace and quiet in the ER.

<<January 9, 2010--10:00pm--NOPH-ER>>

"Happy" New Year

"A new year brings forth new opportunities...new hope."

So, 2010 did not start well for me. maybe I was just tired because I was on duty on new year's eve, and had 2 GSW cases in the first few hours of the year, with 1 DOA. Guess I could say I started the new year with a bang! Literally. And on new year's day when we supposedly had a family gathering, or reunion of sorts, I slept through the whole thing. And 2 days into the new year, i don't feel any ounce of excitement, and even missed 4 hours of duty because I wasn't feeling up to it. Excuses, excuses.

I met up with my friends and watched 2 movies, and talked forever, until we had to go home because some of us are on 24H duty the next day. I always had lots of fun with my girlfriends, even with a simple get-together and talking over food.

And that's when it hit me, how I truly feel about the new year. One of my friends was particularly optimistic about the whole new-year-new-opportunities thing. But I didn't really caught up with her optimism. It's like the events that happened to me as the clock struck 12, and on the subsequent 24 hours that followed affected my whole outlook for the coming 364 days.

Being a relatively cheerful and optimistic person, this isn't how I usually greet the new year. And it bummed me to feel this way. I want to be excited and optimistic about the new year too. I'll be graduating, then start my PGI year. But try as I may, I don't really feel like it. It's like there's a hole inside my chest--a void (ok, this is getting a bit melodramatic, but I would like to emphasize that I'm not in a "new-moon-Bella" state whatsoever).

I don't know, maybe I just feel tired and longing for vacation to come where I can soak in the sun and sand all day. That would be 3 months from now. (counting...)

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